Ladies and gentlemen, the future of de-evolution is upon us.

Remember the talking Barbie doll that had everyone up in arms in the mid-90s because she said, “Math is hard.”

This makes her look like Marie Curie.

Apparently. this “Miss Bimbo” –a game that comes equipped with character building challenges, such as “your Miss Bimbo goes on a crash diet, and won’t settle for anything less than 132 lbs” and “with daddy’s money go shopping, but don’t let him find out!”–is all the rage in the UK amongst girls aged 9-16.

While I’ve never thought very highly of Americans, and assumed that digital exercises in shallow and unenlightened thinking could only come from us, I have always expected a much more sophisticated brand of online training from the fathers of modern-day Imperialism.

Why can’t they just teach us us how to take over a third world country, exploit its resources and kill its indigenous peoples like in the good old days?