New blog! (written by moi)

Uncanny Curiosities

I wish I had written this (although part of me wants to gag at it’s sometimes psuedo-pretense, I’m sure alot of people feel that way about me too)):

Inner Child: Yay! A new friend!
Inner Misanthrope: (Jaundiced eye-roll) Uh-huh.
I.C.: Wait, what’s that about?
I.M.: Nothing. Just, you know … friend? You really think he’s interested in being your friend?
I.C.: He didn’t ask if I was single, we didn’t talk about anything romantic, I mean …
I.M.: Oh, please. Wake up. We live in a misogynist patriarchal society.
I.C.: Yeah, but he’s not the Patriarchy. He’s just a dude who shares some similar interests with me.
I.M.: Haven’t you seen “When Harry Met Sally”?
I.C.: Uh … I think that’s PG-13.
I.M.: OK, well, I don’t want to be that guy — er, that girl — who ruins the ending, but men and women can’t truly be friends. He views you as an object, that’s all I’m saying.
[Enter Inner Critic]
Critic: An object? Like a sexual object? You’ve got to be kidding.
I.M.: Pardon?
Critic: Don’t flatter yourself. I think we all know you’re in no danger of being offered a modeling contract. Today, especially, you were really looking … I mean, “bad hair day” does not even begin to cover it.
I.M.: That’s not really how it works — I think it’s more –
Critic: Not that you’re some brilliant conversationalist, either. But I think we can definitely rule out physical attraction. Maybe he was just trying to be nice. He probably felt sorry for you.
I.C.: Never mind, never mind! Forget it! My head hurts. Can we go get ice cream?
Critic: Better make it frozen yogurt.

Dear Mary:

http://www.latimes.com/features/health/la-et-skinny30nov30,1,7324159.story?coll=la-headlines-health

Please save your idiotic ramblings for your self and your fellow L.A. tan-o-bots.