P, the ever self-searching friend that I, in spite of my better efforts to rid myself of him, have and continue to aid in relationship advice is still dating a girl whom he is terrified of dating.
Make sense? No, not really. But that’s the way it goes.
Today he emailed me:
“I’m not sure if I can do this, I can’t live with her I can’t live without her. What’s wrong with me?”
Because I have been doing research on a particular subject (commitment phobia) for my own personal reasons, I respond with this:
“Have you ever thought you might have some kind of problem? Here is an excerpt from an article I read, hope this helps.
Commitment phobia, real commitment phobia, not the kind that people refer to when they are dumping someone they don’t really like, is a paralyzing fear of being with someone whom you actually care for. In fact, the greater you care for the person the more paralyzing the fear can be. The physical symptoms are similar to other phobias like claustrophobia and arachnophobia, and manifest themselves as panic attacks or almost panic attacks. Oftentimes, people who are commitment phobic will sabotage their most promising and satisfying relationships simply because the fear of becoming attached to or losing that person becomes too great. If commitment phobics go untreated, they may end up alone or with someone who they are not terribly satisfied with, because they view relationships like these as “easy.”
P responded with a shocked:
“What the hell am I supposed to do then?”
On the other end of my computer I can imagine his wide eyes and terrified expression, because I’ve seen it many times before.
Being ever helpful, I respond with this:
Uh, sucks to be you?
